One month...

Well, we’re a little over one month in to the whole “second child” thing, and it’s going ok.  I think Diana and I would both agree that it has been and is easier than we anticipated. 

When we left the hospital, the main concern was making sure that Samantha was eating enough and gaining weight.  She has gained well over the average weight per week of her life, so that is no longer a concern.  Diana has had a number of breastfeeding issues (overproduction, fast let-down, clogged ducts, mastitis), which has made things challenging on her end, for sure.  Mastitis, particularly, leads to antibiotics, which then affects Samantha’s digestion, etc.  So it’s been a little bit of a mess, but I think we (really mostly Diana) have risen and overcome the challenges as they’ve presented themselves.

Sam had her one-month doctor’s appointment today.  They verified that she’s tracking objects with her eyes, reacts to light, etc.  Upon further discussion, the doctor agreed with our suspicion that she has a certain amount of reflux, and prescribed some medicine for that.  Samantha is a very loud sleeper, always growling and hiccupping and very restless, so we’re hoping that will be relieved with some anti-reflux medicine.

In general, though, she sleeps well, eats well, and is doing fine.  She’s 90th percentile in both weight and height.  Her doctor seemed happy about that.  In spite of her initial slow start and sleepiness, and now reflux, she certainly isn’t having any problems growing.

Allison is getting over a cold and an ineffective run of antibiotics.  She missed a day of school, but is on the mend now.  She continues to dominate kindergarten, and it’s crazy to think that the school year is almost over.  It goes so fast.

Diana is surviving, still getting up in the middle of the night to nurse and help Samantha.  She really has been super-mom in that regard, facing the challenges of a newborn without complaint.  Our house is being invaded by ants, and there’s clutter and the washing machine broke, so that’s driving her a little crazy, but between you and me, if those are the worst problems we’re having, I think we’re doing pretty ok.

The Ballad of Samantha Jane, cont'd

Today is Samantha's one week birthday.

We came home on Friday, and did our best to figure out how the dynamics were going to work.  It was great to see and live with Allison again.  She visited us once in the hospital, but didn't want to come back after that.  I don't blame her, it's an uncomfortable environment.  But it was great to see her again.

The first night wasn't too bad, but just difficult.  We were feeding everything three hours.  That doesn't sound so bad, but when you take into account that a feeding would take an hour or more, that's not a whole lot of sleep.  But we made it through OK (my memory is a little foggy, obviously).

The next morning, we were figuring out what we were going to do for the day, and a friend called and offered to take Allison to Balboa Park.  Allison was pumped on that idea, and we thought it was just perfect.  So while Allison was gone, we had a leisurely day of settling in.  Just having that time was a really nice gift that came at the perfect time.

Samantha still was a groggy baby.  She rarely opened her eyes, but was eating regularly.  Without a whole lot to do, we just let her sleep and woke her up every so often to eat.

Diana, though all this, has been a trooper.  She's a better patient than I could ever be.  She's been in a certain amount of discomfort, but has been certainly able to get up and around, take a shower, go to the bathroom, walk around the house.  She's not speedy, but she's healing well.  Aside from her incision, she has a nice rash on her stomach, which we suspect is an allergic reaction to the cleaning solution from the surgery.  She takes her pain medicine as needed, and is really just doing better than I would have hoped.

Allison has been just wonderful through the weekend.  With Diana in the captain's chair for the baby, it really falls on me to keep Allison satisfied.  No complaints here.  We headed to Legoland on Sunday and had a good time cruising around.  In general, though, Allison has really better than I would have expected.  She is used to a certain level of attention, but has been patient and understanding that we can no longer always be at her beck and call.  And when Diana was in pain or feeling a little emotional, she's very compassionate, offering helpful suggestions or just a little snuggling.

Monday was the first day of school after spring break.  We had a quiet morning, but the day goes quickly, and I picked her up, then to the library for homework and books, then to gym class, then home where I got some dinner on the table (Diana had already made it, bless her), bath time, etc.  It's kind of a whirlwind time of the day, as I'm sure it is in any family.

Part of yesterday morning was Samantha's first doctors appointment.  We were very curious to hear how her weight was going.  She weighed in at 7 lbs, 4 oz.  I think we were both hoping for a little more weight gain, but she's on a definite upward trajectory.

Today is one week.  We had some nice family time in the morning, and little Sam actually had an hour of good awake time after feeding.  Eyes open and looking around, and even some tummy time on a beautiful custom quilt from Yaya Carole.  That was really encouraging.  I will feel better when she gets into a little more of a wake/sleep rhythm, instead of sleeping all the time.  Again, remind of this when I'm trying to get her to stop wailing in the middle of the night.

Speaking of the middle of the night, I've pretty much been removed from active service.  Diana doesn't need my help anymore, and I've been sleeping alone in bed while she sleeps on the couch and takes care of the feedings.  I do keep my phone by my bed, though, and she says she'll call me if she needs any help.  I feel a little guilty, but she assures me is doing just fine.

I did hear a little commotion last night.  Samantha was crying, and Allison woke up and was crying because she was awake too.  This was all at around 2:30am.  I was about to get up and see if I could be helpful, but everything quieted down.  But we're going to encourage Allison to sleep with her door closed, I guess.

There also was some carpet cleaner out on the counter this morning.  Apparently there was a true poop fountain as Diana was changing her in the middle of the night.  That sounded pretty exciting.  Glad I wasn't around for that one.

At the moment, Allison is at school, and Diana is nursing.  I really don't think there is a more peaceful, serene, beautiful sight than a mom and a baby all wrapped up and making happy little nursing sounds.  Just wonderful.

The Ballad of Samantha Jane

On Tuesday, April 9th, Samantha Jane S. was born into the world.

Unlike her older sister, Samantha was born via C-section.  I won't go into details, but just say that it was a decision made with the support of Diana's doctor.  As a result of this, the birth experience was quite different than previously.

For one thing, there was no labor.  The birth was scheduled a week before the due date, and while Diana had a few cramps and false labor pains, there was no "this is it" kind of moment.  No water breaking, no frantic drive to the hospital.  Just an 8am appointment.

We showed up and got checked in and waited.  And waited.  Hospitals in general make me a little anxious, and of course major happenings like this even more so.  So I was already feeling a little woozy, but trying to keep hydrated and get some food into my stomach.  Diana was on a bed, all gowned up, and we just kind of waited.

Around 11am, we were told that it was go-time.  Diana got wheeled back to the operating room, and I put on my haz-mat suit over my clothes, and waited some more.  After about twenty minutes, I was called back. I found my way to the head-side of the table.  I could see Diana's head, and her arms straight out to her side, and a big curtain in front of me.  The surgery didn't last too long.  Maybe half-an-hour total?  I just tried to talk to Diana and reassure her.  She was great, and I didn't feel like I was going to pass out or anything.  I was pretty surprised by the amount of tugging and pulling.  I could feel the table moving a little, or at least feel Diana's body being pulled in various directions.  It was pretty intense.  She felt a lot of various pressure and stuff, but no pain.

Then, the kid was born.  Her birthweight was 7 pounds and 11 ounces, and she measured around 19 inches long.  Her official time of birth was 11:43am.  There were many comments about how big she was.  She was brought to a small side table, and I was invited over to check her out while the pediatric team checked her out.  My first impressions were how purple she was, and how floppy she seemed to be.  Granted it's been a long time since I've been around a newborn, but it kind of shocked me.  They spent a good bit of time suctioning all the fluid out of her, and she turned from blue to pink quick enough.  I think they may have used a little oxygen gas-mask briefly.

At this point, I started feeling a little faint.  I headed back to Diana and reported the news to her.  I kind of broke out in a sweat, and decided it might be a good time to take a quick break.  I went outside, and sat down and was given some juice, which helped.  In just a minute or two I headed back inside, and was able to my my new daughter for the first time, and show her to Diana.  Diana was pretty ok during the surgery, but got kind of shaky/shivery at the end.  Once everything was over, they transferred her over to a rolling bed, and we went back to the waiting room for two hours of observation and making sure nothing bad happened.  Diana was able to try to nurse for the first time.

Eventually, we were transferred upstairs to the recovery room.  It was a quiet day, and we got a private room, which was nice.  I can't imagine sharing a room with another new family.  The day was a blur of various doctors and nurses coming and checking on Diana and Samantha, taking vitals, etc.  We tried to nurse, but Samantha was so sleepy all the time, if was difficult.  They weighed her Tuesday night, and she had lost a little weight, which is normal.

Wednesday was more of the same.  Just trying to rest, get checked out by doctors, and feed the kid.  Again, she was super sleepy all the time, and it was really hard to know how much she was eating.  At her Wednesday midnight official weigh-in, she was down to 6 pounds, 14 ounces, and had lost about 10% of her body weight.  This was official Cause for Concern, and a Plan was put into place.  After Diana would nurse, she was then pump extra milk.  During the next feeding, we used a small tube on a syringe and stuck that into her mouth, right alongside the nipple, and injected extra milk in there.

That plans strikes me as a good one for two reasons.  First, it obviously got extra food into the kid.  Second, it helped Diana get her milk going.  Soon enough, it was apparent that Diana's supply was not an issue.  She was pumping more and more milk each session.  The bigger deal was that Samantha was just so sleepy all the time.  It really took us 10 or 15 minutes of poking and prodding and wet towels and blowing to get her awake enough to eat.

At mid-morning, the pediatricians came by, and expressed some official concern at her sleepiness.  Until this point in time, it was just "oh, she'll probably come around after a day", but now they decided it was time to start "doing a few things".  I asked, and they wanted to do some blood tests to rule out possible infections or metabolic problems, as well as an ultrasound on her brain to check for bleeding.

Dude.

We agreed to all the tests, as they were non-invasive and seemed harmless enough, and would give us a much better picture if anything was going on.  It turns out that (the ped. said) 40% of babies born have some bleeding in their brain, which they don't normally test for and normally resolves on its own.  So they took some blood from her heel, and we waited for the ultrasound room to be ready.

The blood test came back in two parts.  The first part was done very quickly, and everything was normal.  She was slightly dehydrated, but otherwise things were good.  A while later, I went downstairs with her to have her tiny little head ultra-sounded.  I sat in a corner while the ultrasound guy took a bunch of cross section images and measurements (of tumors and aneurysms, I was sure), while a nurse-tech kept Samantha calm (not too hard).

I was pretty anxious seeing my newborn daughters brain being scanned, but I'll never forget how it ended.  The ultrasound tech turned to the nurse and said simply:  "Unremarkable."  He then excused himself to the back room, and came back a minute later and said that "they concur".  I made some crack about "Did you just call my daughter unremarkable?!" with mock indignation.  We headed upstairs, and I texted Diana the results.  At the same time, she texted back that the extended bloodwork (CBC) came back all normal.  So, everything was good, we just apparently have a super-calm, super sleepy baby, and we'll just see how things develop.

That as Thursday afternoon/evening, and given all of the above, it was a pretty roller-coaster day, emotionally.  We continued with our feeding Plan, and it was determined that if that went well and she starting gaining weight, we would probably go home tomorrow.  And the midnight weighing showed that she had gained back a few ounces of weight.  More good news.

As my dad put it, we probably just spent six or eight thousand dollar to find out we have a perfectly healthy baby.

Today, Friday, was release day.  We got all our stuff together and met with a couple of lactation consultants.  It appears there are two big issues at hand.  The first is our sleepy baby.  We really need to work hard to wake her enough to eat.  I do think, though, that she is coming around on her own.  I could come up with all sorts of theories about slightly premature babies, or C-section babies not being ready to be born yet, and being slower to wake up.  Who knows.

The second issue is that Diana's breasts are absolutely enormous when filled with milk.  There's simply no delicate way to put it.  As a result, it's hard for little Samantha to latch on.  It's like trying to take a bite out of a whole watermelon.

So, our current plan for each feeding is that I take Samantha and shake her around a bit and try to get her eyes open and awake.  At the same time, Diana is pumping so that her boobs deflate a bit.  This takes a little while, and there are usually some false starts, but eventually works.  It a good bit of effort, though.  We have an appointment on Monday, and it will be interesting to see how her weight is when we go there.

We came home in the afternoon, and had some time to ourselves before the grandparents brought Allison home from art camp.  I'll talk more about their budding relationship in another post, but it was great to see her again after so long.  She came to visit us in the hospital on Tuesday, but wasn't interested in coming down again after that.

I'm pretty calm and think things are going well, but I'll be a little happier when our baby is a little more awake.  It makes me a little nervous that she's so quiet and sleepy all the time.  I'm probably crazy for saying that, but it's true.

Gotta run.  More later.  I just wanted to get some details out while I remembered.

The Calm...

Well, this is it.  The bags are packed, and plan is in motion.  Tomorrow is the big day.

I just spent some time reading some of the posts from this blog after Allison was born, and let's just say I was overcome with emotion.

I'm not anxious, but I just want everything to go well and for everyone to be healthy.  Nothing to do but wait.

Fingers crossed!

Chapter 2

Hello blog…

Long time no see.  Sorry about that.  I see that I’ve only posted a few times in the past month?!  That’s unfortunate.

As it happens, quite a bit has happened in those past months.  Allison is officially rocking kindergarten.  She’s had a couple official parent/teacher reviews and gets good marks on all aspects.  Her self-confidence has really increased.  Where in the past she may have stood quietly and let others go before her, now she runs to be the first in line.  She actually got in trouble at school for the first time (had to “pull her tag”), and was appropriately guilty and upset about that.  We’re really lucky to have such a great kid.

She’s in a phase now where she has a difficult time accepting no for an answer.  She’ll ask to watch TV, or have a treat, or generally do something, and if we say “no”, she wants to know why.  Always why.  And sometimes we don’t have a good answer for “why not”.  Why shouldn’t we let her watch TV at that moment?  It’s hard to explain that too much TV in the long run isn’t good for little bodies.  But she doesn’t have a concept of the long run.  That’s the latest challenge.  It’s not a big deal, but it’s something.  She just got a small load of Easter candy (after a really fun and successful treasure hunt at my parents house!), and she was constantly asking if she could have some of her candy.  We finally realized that the reason she asks “why” all the time was that we weren’t giving consistent answers.  Sometimes she can watch TV, and sometimes now.  Sometimes she can have candy, and sometimes now.  We finally had the bright idea to portion out her candy into separate baggies, and she could have one baggie per day, whenever she wanted.  So now it’s very clear when she can have a treat and when she can’t, and she can answer her own question.

In other news, Diana is knocked up and ready to burst.  The official due date is 4/16, but we’re going in on 4/9 for a scheduled c-section.  The ultrasounds seem to indicate a pretty big baby, combined with some complications during Allison’s birth, a c-section seemed like a prudent choice.  So it will be interesting to compare this birth experience with the last one.

Diana is doing well.  Aside from some acid reflux, some sciatica, and generally being uncomfortable heaving a big belly around, I don’t get the feeling that this pregnancy has been particularly challenging.  It’s been a little bit of a roller coaster, though.  Early on, there was some suspicion that Diana had gestational diabetes, and was ordered to monitor her blood sugar.  She did that for two weeks, and it was always well within range, so she was told she didn’t need to anymore.  Then there was a possible issue with the umbilical cord perhaps not being centered on the placenta, and we’d have to watch and make sure the baby is growing well, which she has.  The latest is that her proportions are a little uneven.  Short arms/legs and big belly/head, but we’re told that’s not something to worry about.  I’ve been sick with the flu and norovirus stomach flu in the past few months, and thankfully Diana avoided both of those.  I don’t know how, but she did.

For my own part, I’m about as ready as I can be, emotionally, for this next chapter.  I’m clearing up tasks at work and steeling myself as best I can for the upcoming arrival.  I fully realize I’ll never be totally prepared for what’s to come, but I feel like I’m in as good a spot as I could reasonably expect.

What I don’t know how I’ll do is love this new little one as much as I love Allison.  I swear I’d do anything for that kid.  Her nightly routine now is to write love letters to us at bedtime (after we leave her room).  She writes one to me, one to Diana, and one to both of us.  They are just adorable.  My friends with multiple kids assure me it’s possible, but I can’t comprehend that yet.  How do I have room in my heart?

It will also be interesting to see what a five and a half year difference is like.  There are certainly pros and cons, I expect, about having kids close and far in age.  Allison has never been particularly independent.  She rarely disappears for any length of time and plays by herself.  So I suspect and immediately challenge will be dealing with parents who are increasingly busy and having our hands full.  On the other hand, she potentially could be very helpful and sweet, too.  So we’ll see how that works out.

Cross your fingers for us!